th-1So- here’s the reality. We don’t HAVE any $ yet. We are going out of pocket on everything in this film UNTIL (PLEASE GOD) our Seed & Spark Crowdfunding launch in August.

Thing of it is: we have VERY SHALLOW pockets.

We’re hand to mouth as it is. We work our asses off and just eek by on a daily basis. Enough to keep kids happy in a few extracurricular, pay bills and barely avoid debt. Now, with the 1st portion of pre-production and production on this film- it’s out of pocket. It’s tight. So, our AMAZING producer Jen Prince- wheels and deals. Our amazing Producer Colette- begs, borrows and steals. Our amazing producer Jenica finagles, harasses and sweet talks. All to try and get what we can for free, deferred or favors. Doug & I? We scramble to do as much as we can. All the begging above and wearing multiple hats. My hat this week? Wardrobe. Who the fuck knew this shiot would be so insane. (Don’t get me wrong wardrobe stylists- I NEVER thought you sat on your asses and ate Bon-bons- but HOLY SHIT.) I have just been trying to assemble wardrobe for myself and the kids. Some Doug- but he’s picky. It’s taking a lot of shopping (I’ve hit every thrift store in a 20 mile radius)because – apparently- ALL my clothes suck. They either have logos/names/graphics we can’t clear, crazy camera confounding patterns or are all the wrong color for my face/skin.

Good times.

I thought: “Shopping? Whee! This will be fun. Well, this is day 6 and I’m assembling and not finished and I am SO. FUCKING. SICK. OF. ME. And stores. And colors.

Yes, I’m tired right now. I’m squeezing this in between kid pick up, drop off, entertaining, feeding, kissing boo-boo’s, Doctors, working, clients, camps, traveling to camps. posting, blogging, bills, dinners…. Jesus. Like I wanna “Pop fuckin’ tags?!” NO.

BUT- I am repeating my mantra: “This is a Marathon. Not a sprint. This filmmaking is what WE WANT TO BE DOING. Every “task” is an OPPORTUNITY. To learn. To do. To get better at because THIS IS WHAT WE WANT TO DO.”

Most times it works. Unless it’s after midnight and I have to get up in 4 hours.

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